If you’ve been out of the dating game for more than 3 years like myself then, you too may not understand the inner workings of the dating app world. So I’ve been checking it out for you (you’re welcome) and I’ll be sharing all the deets (naughty and nice) about what I’ve discovered and trust me its going down…first up, Tinder Day 1-7.

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Firstly, forget everything you’ve heard, no I’m serious, it is not as seedy you think (for the most part, anyway). I only embarked on this journey of discovery because one of my friends has found an amazing relationship from this. Which made more inclined to see for myself. Also I have no intention of finding love or anything from this, it’s purely because I’m fascinated…so dad, if you’re reading this, calm down not everyone is a serial killer.

So let’s dive in…what is Tinder you ask? It’s a dating app that you can download on your smartphone it uses pictures & information from your Facebook profile (therefore making it more difficult to be a catfish) and allows you to swipe through people’s profiles either swiping left (for NOPE not interested) or swiping right (if you LIKE what you see). So now you understand all those annoying inside jokes your single friends make about swiping left.

So once two people (you and the potential bae) swipe right on each other’s photos you will be notified  that you guys are a match (this again does not necessarily mean you’re a match, because beautiful does not equal smart or good people) just that whatever profile picture each person used to trick the other gender (because Photoshop) into swiping right has worked and only THEN can you chat to that person. Unless someone clicks on the ‘superlike’ option which will immediately notify you that they like your photo but 10/10 times those guys are creepy and desperate and I never like their profile back because I’m pretty sure they are ready to marry anyone who gives them half a chance, uhm no thanks buddy.

So I’ve sorted the types of guys I’ve found into categories by the types of profile pictures to help you single ladies decipher the crazies from the potential well, whatever it is:

  1. Mr. I cropped my girlfriend from this picture – his just looking for a side piece or a good time, stay away
  2. Mr. I added my wedding picture – this one is a real gem, his wife doesn’t know his on tinder obviously, if you’re not interested in arson maybe give this one a left swipe
  3. Mr. My bio makes me look like a douchebag – usually has a highly edited picture , displaying incredibly narcissistic behavior which includes bios that read ‘I should be famous’ or ‘just because I’m attractive doesn’t make me a player’ uhm, no it just makes you a douchebag
  4. Mr. I put up a group photo so it’s not that obvious that I’m the ugly one – it’s like playing cat and mouse, just swipe left
  5. Mr. Self-employed but is probably just jobless – no explanation needed.

Photography: @Fowziasphotography

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Boob tube: Posh material

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