I guess how some girls always had a best friend (which I was totally envious of) I guess I always had a boyfriend. It was only in my twenties that I could properly claim having a bestie (yes claiming, you’re stuck with me now Lana, no backsies) and she’s very supportive of having other friends outside of the bestfriendtionship…Insert new friend and fellow natural hair girl & blogger, Carly (two things I never thought I would have).
Allow me to elaborate on that last statement.
- Having Natural hair (curly/kinky hair) was like committing social suicide amongst the coloured community. Don’t act all brand new now…I see you. We were crucified for not relaxing our hair, ‘the straighter the better’ they told us. As if burning your scalp was better for anyone? I still have people tell me ‘how pretty’ I looked with my hair straight, as if my face had magically altered post natural hair transition. I even had a guy tell me he would propose if I kept my hair straight…uhm, yip that happened. Awks.
- I do not easily befriend bloggers. As much as bloggers in South Africa pretend to get along, its not what it always looks to be. There are more breakups & backstabbing than a season of The Bachelor. So finding someone authentic isn’t easy but to my delight this gem came across my path and just like that we clicked over…well, let’s call them ‘smoothies!’
And BOOM one random Friday afternoon over ‘smoothies’ a friendship was born! Initially her boyfriend did think I was a figment of her imagination because we kept failing to all hang out but in Carly’s defense I was already single at that point and so we couldn’t exactly double date. When this figment eventually became reality to said boyfriend, eerily enough, my only thought is that he was pretty much just the boy version of me. Carly, I hate to break it to you my darling but it seems you attract the crazies!
I never quite got the women supporting women thing until I got older (Oprah would be so proud) because to me it seemed like women were just out to break me down, gossip about what I had or didn’t have and I wasn’t here for it. But with Carly there is no competition, no worrying what she’s thinking, zero sarcastic remarks and no ‘did I hang around too long’ awkward feeling. She doesn’t even judge my ‘I just transitioned into natural hair and it doesn’t curl or look cute’ hair, if I had her bomb curls I would judge me. Ha! It’s just easy. As friendships should be once gets to a certain age. But the best part, we take hoards of pictures of each other and don’t get annoyed when we need to ‘take another one’ because ‘I didn’t suck my tummy in properly’.
Moral of the story: Don’t listen to Drake, new friends totally rule!
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