Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the others suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together as a couple.
I don’t randomly get into relationships anymore. I will casually go on a date, yes. But I will not invest time or energy on someone if I do not see him as a potential spouse. I mean I ain’t getting younger, I am not here for my time to be wasted. Most of my girlfriends share these sentiments – at this age anyway. We’ve been there, done that and frankly are so sick of getting the short end of the stick.
I’ve pretty much been the easiest girl to breakup with, I never get angry, its always like – okay you want to leave me? Yeah okay, go- and then I silently fall apart. So here’s what I would tell some of my exes if I was a tab bit angrier/crazy/selfish/ratchet:
Dear Mr. Emotionally unattached
Do you remember our 3 year anniversary dinner? Where you surprised me with a dress and 3-course dinner but you were actually texting your office co-worker about how you’d like to get in her panties later? Yes you, hi there. Remember how I let you go without a word after you cowardly emailed me that you’d like to break up with me in order to sleep with a bunch of woman but landed up being in a serious relationship with the girl you told me you weren’t even attracted to? Funny how that happens hey? How you said one thing but actually meant something completely different. Your email should have read like this:
I’m sorry but I’m a dick head with no feelings and absolutely no balls to tell you this in person. But I have been cheating on you and hoped you wouldn’t find out. Oh and now I’m dating the girl I told you was ‘just a friend’ and that I had quote unquote – no physical desire for. Hope it’s cool.
PS. Please ask your girlfriends squad to stop stalking me on social media (screengrabs on snapchat are a pretty standard giveaway) let them know that besides my degree I am smart enough to figure out who they are *rolls eyes*.
I really don’t want you back – she can keep you
Dear Mr. The Christian Playboy
Remember when I told you I forgive you before I found out on Facebook that you’re engaged to someone else 5 months after we broke up? Yeah I don’t forgive you for that. So much for all the love songs you sang to me and the playlist on my phone that I can’t listen to anymore. Thanks for telling me how beautiful our children would be and that you could see your future with me but then shamelessly using God as your ‘out’. I mean are we serving the same God or nah? And the absolute most – asking me why I ‘didn’t guard my heart’ when I cried after you broke up with me uhm, hello, here is a thought: why the hell didn’t you guard your mouth? Don’t say things you can’t back the hell up.
Can we also discuss how you never wanted to kiss me because ‘we should save that for marriage’ but anytime you had the chance to rub your genitals up against me, you were never shy to do your part. The only thing I can say about this disaster is that I am glad that you are finally getting married. Really I am. There will only be one woman in the world who has to deal with your manipulation now. Win for womankind.
Ps. Thanks for spoiling it for every other Christian brother who will come after you, you have royally F&*$ed up the experience for me. Also I have a very good therapist, I suggest you text me after this and get her number –trust me, you need her more than I do…
Are you going to pay for all my therapy bills?
“Why not me?” It is the dating question that my friends and I ask anytime someone who we chose did not choose us back. Why was I good enough to hang out with, hook up with, dine with but not made into girlfriend, fiancé, life partner, wife?
As I reflect on the men I left behind it becomes clearer that it was no fault of my own,
• That if men are not in that space to commit, they won’t.
• They can be manipulative and deceitful.
• I’ve learnt it’s not my burden to carry when they mess up, that I need to let it go.
• That I’m so much better off. Imagine if I actually did marry them?
• That I dodged a bullet.
• That it is their loss.
• That I am completely justified in being angry and that’s okay
• That I am not just cute as heck but I’m funny and smart and I am beautiful in my own way
• That no man defines me or my happiness…that I must create my own
• That they would be the lucky ones to have me in their life.
• That I am more than enough