I was recently trying to arrange a time to meet up with a friend which proves impossible when you’re both trying to adult. We then decided on a time after her race but I knew she’s not a runner so I was like ‘you go girl’. She then continued to inform me her boyfriend is the runner and has been motivating her. Which is great of course…but I hate running with my melons so it would be a no-no for me. Nonetheless it made me think…I DO NOT miss that. I do not miss caring about what someone else cares about.
I used to half pretend to care about the latest online game or the Stormers losing to the Bulls to appease my partners. By no means am I saying she’s pretending to like what her boyfriend likes but personally I know I compromise way too much in a relationship because I think I’m pleasing my partner and most times I really have zero interest in some of their interests.
This made me introspect a bit and wonder if I’m really single and happy about it. People make you think that you’re not complete or truly successful unless you’re in some sort of relationship. I was brutally honest with myself and this is what I found:
- I do not miss potential mother in laws not like me because I have kroes hare thinking their dead beat sons can do better, they tried me
- I do not miss paying for half of everything while other women out here got men dropping stacks on them, its tiring
- I do not miss shaving my legs one a week because a women is supposed to ‘be smooth’ all the time, like do you know how much a wax costs, you gonna pay or nah?
- I quite like travelling the world and not have a guy tell me he only travels 5-star so he can’t go, like boo you haven’t even left South Africa yet, what you talking about?
- I also don’t miss being in a relationship where I have to wonder where this is going. Like you think you can potentially marry me or nah? It’s really not rocket science, who has time to waste in 2017?
- I do not miss someone correcting me about the way I laugh or do my hair. Excuse me boo last I checked you ain’t perfect either. Take several seats.
- I do not miss trying to find time to see my friends because I feel the guilt of ‘you have a boyfriend and now you don’t know who your friends are anymore’. And then when you break-up or fight with said ‘amazing boyfriend’ you go calling all your girlfriends again. I definitely write off these people and do not want to remotely be them.
- I do not miss going to a random birthday party of ‘a friend from university who used to date my friend’ while awkwardly trying to navigate the other ‘girlfriends’ who have already given you daggers and completely isolated you. I’m done crying in the bathrooms, thanks boo.
And the things I wouldn’t mind having…
- Cute texts all day knowing you’re on someones mind all the time
- Having 2 hour phone calls where you just laugh for no reason at all
- Surprise dates
- The families (I’ve had some of the most amazing almost father and mother in-laws)
And well…that’s about it.
I think the conclusion is pretty self-explanatory. I won’t close myself to love (too much) but I’m not actively looking for it AT ALL. My main priorities right now are what colour palette I am going with for my house because you know…Instagram and if I’m going to get pet insurance or nah. Pretty solid priorities I think, no?
Photography: Wisaal Anderson