Uber on the way, my phones charging, I know I didn’t put on this dress for nothing. Here’s hoping this date is worth my time and make-up. I mean I don’t put on make-up for just anything anymore. Hello boy, I feel that if I have actually made an effort to get out of my warm bed and brushed my hair you best have one hell of a personality and look like you got dressed by a stylist or I’m going to be upset for the next week that I wasted my new Mac eye shadow on your boring ass.

I wonder if social media has affected ‘my type’ I know I change my mind as much as the Guptas about whether or not they’re down with JZ but let us assess the situation:

Primary school: The pretty boy. Mr Popularity. – probably married his high school sweetheart, no job and still cheating on her.

High school: I was all over the place so I don’t even know. I just promised some guy if we both single at 30 we can get married but now home boy has two baby mamas and a drug problem. Uhm, no.

University: The super nerd, all-rounder, over-achiever. Back to my Mr. Popularity days but this time with some serious brain cells, all the better to cheat on me with. Sighs.

Or

The super-nerd, dark & twisted. Mysterious kinda sexy vibe.

Or

The rugby player with the great personality who spent all his time with me but would deny me in public. Until he met me a few years post university and is still blowing up my phone. Boom.

Pre-Instagram vanity I already had an issue with guys who had no style, it wasn’t a deal breaker but I did manage to sneak a new t-shirt or 5 just because its Wednesday (and don’t even get me started with birthdays) because you know, standards. I’ve just always like a guy who knew what he was doing when he got dressed in the morning and I find that Instagram #OOTD pictures have increased the level of effort, social media…I thank you.

Instagram seems to be the new Tinder. Besides DMs I have a flurry of guys handing in their applications to be my summer fling when I travel come summertime. Apparently they stalk me on social media (always not a reliable source because editing) and hit my friends up about hooking us up. I wouldn’t mind this actually I guess its all part of new age dating except for one tiny problem. These ‘men’ all seem to fall in the 21-25 year old situation. Seriously I don’t mind dating younger but these guys are not bout commited relationships, they’re young and doing their thang. That’s cool but fall back, I’m about that ‘non-game playing’ life right now. Although I do highly recommend a summer fling, just once in your life at least, because YOLO.

Mine happened to be last December. Met him on the beach, he was coming out of the water (literally imagine a scene from Baywatch, yip) but he was tall, buff and tatted up and all I thought was ‘rugby player, RUN!). He actually repulsed me if I’m fair, I had had such bad experiences with athletes that I just couldn’t stand being around them. And of course knowing my luck, he knew my friend and came over. Insert literal eye roll and huge sigh. I ignored him as much as I could and make zero eye contact. He left, I carried on with my life and until 3 days later…

He had been asking my friend for my number but he hadn’t given it and he had DM’ed me which I only saw then. I gave my number (I was just being polite) and he called immediately. And well, the rest as they say is history. It was probably my best December and he was huge factor in that. He was exactly the right mix of bad boy and the gallant guy. He met my need before I even knew I had one, was amazing with my girlfriends (some of them even advocating for him to be a permanent fixture) and opened up about his hopes, fears and everything in between. Down for whatever, whenever. I definitely was open and upfront about my feelings (that I had none) and it actually led to a friendship, for which I’m grateful. I think the more honest we are about where we are and what we want form any friendship or relationship would spare a lot of confusion and tears.

Perhaps I’ll keep those savage posts for another day I don’t feel like dealing with immature girls dragging me on social media and then blocking me when my friends respond. Because boo, this here blog ain’t ‘bout you!

Photography: Guido Griffin