We all style identified with a character from Sex & the city. I remember being 13 years fresh from a trip to London and wanting to wear my teal snakeskin buffalos I found in Camden town and what did I wear with it? My red snakeskin suit, I mean what else? My spirit animal was clearly Carrie. Sadly my style has become more classic less fearless over the years.

Denial

Despite my rapid decline in red snakeskin purchases, I do on occasion have my moments with statement pieces. I cannot, and I mean cannot walk past a pair of gold pants/skirt/top in a store. I land up having conversations with myself why this is not okay to purchase mid-shop. These pants were no exception,  I saw them, did a lap around the store picking out ‘practical’ items and debated about where I would even wear them to. Needless to say I found myself back at the golden rail.

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I arrive at the fitting room, my 6 items in tow and decide to try on the gold pants first (so I can talk myself out of it later). I look in the mirror ‘”Hey girl, your burger eating belly ain’t doing you any favours in this high waist and how about that camel toe?” I turn. “You need to do more jumping squats and probably grow a few centimeters before attempting this in public”. I go and grab a size bigger hoping for a baggy effect. I went to till and paid for them.

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Hysteria

As I walk out with them I am extremely proud of myself. I now have an entire section of gold in my wardrobe. And when I get home I try them on again. Nothings changed. I still have camel toe and my ass is still as flat as it was about an hour ago. I refuse to give up. I now ascend into the part I’m not particuarly proud of. I tried everything, longer length tops, baggy tops, crop tops, tight tops, slouchy jerseys. Everything to hide my belly. These pants would have none of it. I pulled them up to my boobs and down to my crouch, nothing helped. Nothing made it look better. I panic. I start crying. I stop and tell myself that people are starving in the world and I should get it together. I wonder why I ate that scone for breakfast and contemplate all my life choices. I wonder why I rejected that guy obsessed with me 6 years ago and imagine what our babies would’ve looked like. Yip. I. Lost. My. Tools.

 

Acceptance 

Okay I bought them and I am not letting them go. I will figure this out. My gutt and I will walk with pride, I will not eat or drink anything on the days I wear these pants, if you see me do be kind and give me a hug. Winter is coming, I’m pretty sure I can layer the heck out of them. I’ll wear heels for the illusion of a butt and longer limbs. These pants will not conquer me.

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In the words of Carrie Bradshaw:

“People should dress the way they want, any rules for age and shape are silly, if you walk out the door feeling good about yourself, that’s what counts.”unnamed (52)

unnamed (58)Makeup: @makeupbyellenor

Pants & shoes: MrP

Top: Woolworths